Becoming A Mother

I COULDN’T DECIDE IF I WANTED TO BE A MOTHER.  I HAD ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT IF IT HAPPENED I’D GO WITH IT BUT THAT I WOULDN’T BE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO WOULD PLAN IT ALL OUT….  WELL NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.  I CAN SAY THAT WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS EXCITED AND SCARED ALL AT THE SAME TIME.  I THINK THAT I TOOK ABOUT TEN PREGNANCY TESTS BEFORE I BELIEVED IT.  FOR ME, AND I’M GUESSING A LOT OF WOMEN, IT FELT LIKE MY LIFE WAS GOING TO CHANGE FOREVER.  MY HUSBAND REASSURED ME THAT IT WOULD BE OKAY AND THAT WE’D FIGURE IT OUT, BUT THAT DAY MY LIFE CHANGED

I HAVE TO SAY THAT GETTING PREGNANT AND HAVING A CHILD IS PROBABLY THE MOST FEMALE ACT THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.  COMING FROM A BACKGROUND AS A TOMBOY AND WORKING IN A MALE DOMINATED WORK FIELD I ALWAYS FELT LIKE I WAS A MASCULINE FEMALE.  I STILL FEEL THAT WAY.  BUT FOR THIS THERE WAS NO FARMING OUT ANY OF THIS TO MY HUSBAND.  SERIOUSLY, I’M GOING TO SAY IT, BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE BUT FEMALES ARE EXQUISITE BEINGS, NOT THAT IT IS A COMPETITION BUT MALES COME ON…  FEMALES ARE AMAZING.  WE CAN GROW A HUMAN, SUSTAIN IT, AND REPAIR OURSELVES..   I FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TO PUT MY BODY TO THE ULTIMATE TEST.   NOW BEING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF IT, I CAN TELL YOU IT IS ALL WORTH IT. MY BABY GIRL IS AMAZING, SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL, SMART, AND BRIGHT. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT AND HOW SHE CONTINUES TO GROW AND EVOLVE.

HAVING GONE THROUGH THE WHOLE PROCESS OF BEING PREGNANT AND GIVING BIRTH I THINK THAT IT IS AN EXPERIENCE UNLIKE ANY I’LL EVER GO THROUGH.  I DO FROM TIME-TO-TIME WISH THAT I HAD THE ABILITY TO STEP BACK INTO THE SHOES THAT I USED TO WALK IN BECAUSE NOW I FEEL DIFFERENT.  NOT BETTER OR WORSE, BUT DIFFERENT, MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE OVER TIME, JUST A SHIFT IN WHAT IS IMPORTANT AND WHERE MY MIND IS.  FOR NOW, I AM JUST ENJOYING BEING WITH MY FAMILY AND WATCHING BABY FINN THRIVE. MOTHERHOOD IS TRULY A WILD RIDE, ONE THAT IS INCREDIBLY REWARDING, I LOVE BEING A MOTHER.  I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR ALL YOU MAMAS OUT THERE. 

 

      


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